Are you not interested in dating? Discover why it's no big deal to remain single for the foreseeable future. Relationships are not meant for everybody.
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Are you no longer interested in dating anymore?
This is probably a question that you have pondered with for some time in the past. I’m sure a large majority of us have probably uttered a phrase similar to the following: “Am I cut out for monogamous relationships?”, or worse yet, “Are relationships even for me?”
You’ll be pleased to know that you’re not alone when making this assertion.
Even I have had fleeting thoughts akin to the above during some of the darkest days and shining moments of my life.
And this is precisely why I’m writing this blog post. I intend to answer a few pertinent questions that have been on my mind for a very long time, around the subject of dating and relationships.
Maybe relationships are not for you?
Quite an assertion to make I know, yet it is one that requires honest introspection into your characteristics and mannerisms.
Take a solid look at all of your past relationships and ask yourself the following questions:
- Were they handled with utmost care on your part?
- Did you continually strive to become a better person overtime during your relationships?
- Were you too open, too reserved, very argumentative, too meek, too independent or too clingy?
- Did you feel like you was putting in too much effort? Without getting the same efforts returned or at least appreciated?
- Were you taken for granted during your relationships?
- Or maybe, your relationship died a slow death – feelings began to wither away and the relationship had sadly ran its course? A natural occurrence that just couldn’t have been avoided. Or maybe you was just with the wrong person altogether?
My reason for asking these thought-provoking questions is to make a very clear point.
Relationships are not for everyone.
And even more importantly…
It’s perfectly fine if you’re not interested in dating anymore due to the added societal pressures and expectations which come along when dating or in a relationship.
Despite being in a loving relationship at the moment, I can understand exactly why so many men and women have simply, given up.
Shock horror, I don’t believe everyone was meant to find their ‘OH’ – not everyone is suited towards selflessness and compromise.
However, by the same token not everyone can continue to wear their heart on the sleeve as it gets torn to shreds right in front of them.
Simply put, I can see why people are not interested in dating if all their experiences have only resulted in:
- Losing their home, children and assets
- Having their heart ripped out, stamped on and buried
- Being treated like a cancer inducing individual
- Feeling trapped in a shell due to continuous ridicule and torment
For some people, relationships won’t bring anything but misery into their lives. And this is primarily due to their behaviour, actions and beliefs about what a relationship is, and most importantly, what it signifies.
Looking at the most popular statistic; 42-50% of marriages end in divorce. A scary figure no doubt, but this has helped me understand and cultivate my own reasons for wanting to enter a relationship both in the past and in the future.
What’s the point of dating and relationships?
When I was young, dumb and immature – I had this belief that relationships, marriage, children and monogamy were an absolute necessity in life.
During my teens I treated this as if it was a rudimentary aspect of being an adult in the 21st century, and the next step in life; ‘the right direction’, if you will.
Hand on heart I couldn’t give you a single, honest, intrinsic motivational factor for why I got involved in relationships.
Everybody else was doing it, so I figured that I might as well do so too…
This was augmented by the fact that my life didn’t have a purpose, and therefore neither did my relationships. I was doing it “just because” – there was no autonomous thinking behind it.
For you it might be different. Relationships might be the bread and butter of your existence and happiness – and thus it is a requirement for you to feel ‘whole’ and ‘complete’.
Understanding what you want from a relationship has become more important than ever. However, becoming crystal clear on what you intend to provide, will make the process of finding the right person even easier.